Are you a narcissist?

Rightardia has written about narcissism many times before because we have to constantly deal with one. 

A recent study indicate that narcissists may have a endocrine system disorder. 

Unhealthy narcissism in college-age men may chronically activate the body's key stress response system. This  puts  men at risk for cardiovascular and endocrine problems.

The narcissistic trait appears to activate the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, increasing cortisol secretion and subsequent stress levels.

Sara H. Konrath, PhD, of the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, and colleagues, reported their findings in PLoS ONE.

The researchers also measured mood and took two saliva samples to measure stress on the HPA axis by looking at cortisol levels in the saliva.

Narcissistic Personality Quiz

Take the quiz at Psych Central: http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm

This test could be useful in human resources. Sales people need healthy levels of narcissism but this trait is not conductive to team building in a corporation.

Narcissists can produce chaos and some GOP politicians such as Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann and Newt Gingrich have narcissistic traits. All of them have had problems holding onto key staff.

During Newt's first attempt to run for president, all of his staff resigned. Newt's management style has been described as chaotic and he has admitted he thinks grandiose thoughts.

Newt has compared himself to a variety of historical figures such as Moses, Woodow Wilson, Charles DeGaulle and the Wright Brothers among many others. See http://mittromney.com/news/press/2012/01/i-think-grandiose-thoughts

Is Newt a narcissistic? Rightardia thinks it is highly likely.

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Why Sarah Palin can't shut up

Sarah Palin is probably a narcissist or a megalo-maniac. In both cases these personality types believe they are always right and others are always wrong.

It 's the "I'm OK, but you not" type of personality.

Sybil Adelman write an interesting article about Palin's personality. Some of the symptoms of a narcissistic personality are:

1. A grandiose sense of self-importance (exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).  
2. Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love. 
3. Requires excessive admiration.
4. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e. takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends. 
5. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
      

Narcissists need enablers. A narcissist always has one of more people who supports them and convinces them that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. They  can only develop relationships with their enablers who are essential to their fragile egos.

Because narcissists believe they are always right, they will invariably explode if confronted  with a contrary view or criticism. A narcissist will almost always immediately lash out toward their antagonist. 

Palin also has features of Histrionic Personality Disorder."


This syndrome is defined by a strong need for applause, wanting things done your way, a quest for popularity, believing winning is no fun unless people know you won, desiring attention, competing for spotlight, needing to stand out to be happy, manipulating others, superficiality, feeling best when admired, using your looks to get what you want, vanity, performing and self promoting.

Sarah Palin cannot shut up because she feels that she has been misunderstood and must immediately "set the record straight."

Smarter politicians know it is sometimes better to "maintain low tones" and to ride out the storm.

source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/archive/236/blog/w/sybil_adelman_sage/diagnosing_sarah_palin_9582.html

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A time lapse view of a narcissist

by Secular Human

I met my future wife in the late 1970s. After dating for several weeks, she invited me over to her apartment for dinner. This is when I met Damien for the first time. He was six years old.

As I got to know the women I would eventually marry better, I realized Damien had problems. His Mother, Terri, indicated Damien had Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Damien did seem to bounce off walls and was very active. He was also very manipulative, often locking the door to his room and blocking the door with his body when his mother tried to get into his room. Damien would frequently bring his mother to tears.

When Damien was four, his mother and father had divorced. From what I can gather, the father was a mama's boy who had a manipulative mother that my wife called 'Granny. ' Granny was greatly responsible for getting Damien's father thorough college. According to my wife, Granny wrote all of the father's term papers in college. Granny was also greatly contributed to the divorce between Ray's mother and father. Granny was eccentric and had also divorced.

Narcissists are not solitary creatures. Paul Lutis wrote an article about narcissist and mentioned that all narcissists have enablers. A "narcissistic enabler" is a particular personality type that the narcissist depends upon. This can become a lifelong pattern, one that is so malignant and powerful that the enabler cannot live without a narcissist to enable, even though he or she openly holds narcissists in contempt. 

Over protective mothers are natural enablers to narcissists because they constantly wish to reaffirm their child. Narcissists frequently have multiple enablers at both home and work.

Dr. Sam Vaknin discusses magical thinking in narcissists. Magical thinking postulates that one is able to exert influence over other people, inanimate objects, and events, merely by projecting one's thoughts. Infants get over this at age 3. Narcissists and other people continue to use this thought process which leads to grandiose self views later in life. This leads to unrealistic views of where the narcissist fits into the world.

Damien was on a power trip at an early age. He was primarily interested in big powerful things like earth moving equipment, large trucks and the Incredible Hulk. Terri took her son to see someone dressed up at the Incredible Hulk at a local mall. Damien was frightened by the man in the costume and apparently believed the man in the Incredible Hulk suit was real because of his magical thinking.

Every Friday, I would take Terri and her son to dinner. Damien had some problems with his feet when he young and wanted to be carried everywhere like a baby. Once he weighed 75 lbs at about age 7, I had to insist that he would have to do his own walking. I could no longer carry him.

In addition, in every outing, Damon would insist that I buy him a toy. I would go into a drug store and buy a $1 or $2 dollar toy to shut him up. Eventually I told him I could no longer afford to buy him a toy every time his mother and I went out. As time went on, I became less of an enabler and developed an adversarial view toward his constant demands.

I also recall another incident at a family restaurant. I ordered a steak for Terri and myself and an item from the kid's menu for Damien. When the food arrived, Damien made a huge scene because he though he was also entitled to a steak. I eventually ordered a steak dinner for him which arrived near he end of the meal. Damien refused to eat it.

I married Damon's mother when When Damon was eight. We got a kitten for Damien and Terri suggested father-son project to make a cat scratch post. I went to the garage with Damon to build the cat scratch post.

I asked Damon where he thought the center of the board was to we could place the cat scratch post correctly. He put his finger down on the board which I marked.  

Damien insisted that he had found the real center of the board. I took out the straight edge and measured the height and width of the board. I then marked the center of the board's top and bottom and left and right. I then drew lines between the vertical and horizontal centers of the board which matched the earlier center I found crossing lines between the corners.

I then took a ruler and drew two lines between the corners or vertices of the base of the project. I showed that this was the easiest way to find the center. Most kids would intuitively understand this, but not Damien.

Damien became hysterical because I would not agree with him. His mother suggested that I be gentler with him. I wondered then why Damien was unable to see a simple truth and why such a young person would argue with an adult.

Sandy Hotchkiss has identified the seven deadly sins of narcissism I have already discussed one of them: magical thinking which I would describe as a distorted view of reality. Lets look at some of the Hotchkiss' other sins that apply to Damion.

Arrogance - A narcissist who is feeling deflated may re-inflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else. Damien was an arrogant child who had a great deal of difficulty with adults. Between ages six and eight his mother moved him from a public school to a private school where he continued to have conflicts with teachers.

Once we married, we moved him to a fundamentalist private school that used the contract system that revolved around children completing work books at a child's own pace. It was very regimented there and he seemed to settle down.

However, when I was reassigned in the Air Force to a base in the East, he immediately had conflicts with a middle school teacher who stated he has a lip on him more like a high school student. Damien had always been verbally aggressive and would 'talk the talk', but most of the time he couldn't 'walk the walk.'

Envy - A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person. Envy is closely related to the arrogance sin. Narcissists go into disbelief when they are one upped by someone else. Damien perceived himself as a athlete as he got older and constantly derided other athletes when they succeeded in sports programs.

When he was 18, he told me me he would be a millionaire living in a beach house, driving two cars and owning a boat by the time he was 35. These statements had a lot to do with the grandiose views that narcissists have of themselves. He was essentially telling me that he was going to do a lot better in life than I had done.

At age 35, I reminded Damien of his bet when he was 35, but he he insisted that the bet was still on. At age 38, he was driving a 15 year old Ford Explorer, living at home and had no girlfriend. He didn't even own a dinghy.

In fact, he had trouble developing a relationship with females. He had one girlfriend for about 3 months before he discovered she had been dating another person in his profession. Somehow that disqualified her as a girlfriend. He had one other girlfriend on and off for a couple of years in his mid-thirties. I suspect he had been  looking for a female enabler.

I warned Damien that his chances of finding a wife in his late thirties was about 1:4. Once he got into his forties, the odds went up to 1:25 for a man who had never married.

Entitlement - Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment and automatic compliance with their wishes because they consider themselves special. Any failure to comply will be considered an attack on their superiority and the perpetrator is considered to be a 'difficult' or 'worthless' person.
If you defy a narcissist, it can trigger narcissistic rage as described in the cat post event.

A narcissistic child may arise out of a bad divorce. The mother may be over protective and become a narcissistic enabler to compensate for the divorce. The narcissistic child may feel that he was treated unfairly by the divorce and is owed something by the parents who care for him.

Exploitation - can take many forms but always involves the using of others without regards for their feelings or interests.

When Damien was 17 he wanted a car. I offered to take him down to the nearby Air Force base to see what was available. When a lot of airmen would ship out overseas, they would try to sell their cars.

Well, my offer wasn't good enough. Damien wanted a 20 year old Chevy that had been overhauled and had one of the biggest production engines ever manufactured. Power was always essential to his ego needs. I advised him that such a vehicle was not suitable for a young driver.

How to deal with narcissistic family members

Rightardia has discussed narcissism in past articles. It is a big problem in many corporations with many senior managers exhibiting narcissistic behavior.

Narcissists crave power and control and thus rise in corporations by undermining other employees. An excellent site on narcissism personality disorder in a corporate environment is at http://www.winning-teams.com/recognizenarcissist.html

Narcissists are also attracted to politics and many associates and campaign staff have described Sarah Palin as a narcissist. See http://www.huffingtonpost.com/archive/236/blog/w/sybil_adelman_sage/diagnosing_sarah_palin_9582.html

What do you do if you have an immediate family member with a narcissistic personality disorder? There is some overlap between a sociopath and a narcissist. First, most narcissists have enablers. The enabler needs help and therapy so they will stop some of the behaviors that feed a narcissist.

Conflict can be avoided with narcissists by ignoring them and also by corresponding with letters or email. This is more effective than direct conflict.

Secular Human had to tell a narcissistic relative that he will be asked to leave his home if he starts further verbal assaults. If a threat like that doesn't phase the narcissist, consider a temporary restraining order. Because narcissists understand power and control, they may  back off with the aggressive 'I'm always right' approach.

Narcissism and authoritarianism in the Republican Party

In Todd Purdum's Vanity Fair article about Sarah Palin, Purdum noted that several Alaskans told him "they had consulted the definition of `narcissistic personality disorder' in trying to understand their governor. This disorder, Purdum points out, is marked by "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy."

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. They believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Megalomania is similar term. It is a historical term for behavior characterized by an obsession or preoccupation with wealth, power, genius, or omnipotence—often generally termed as delusions of grandeur or grandiose delusions. Megalomania denotes an obsession with having and/or obtaining, grandiosity and extravagance.

One common feature with NPD and megalomania is that the individual with this condition is 'always right. ' Where have we heard that before?

Announcer: Now from Midtown Manhattan, New York City's most listened to host...Rush Limbaugh.
Rush: "Hi Ya folks. Ah, welcome back. Rush Limbaugh here, highly trained broadcast specialist executing assigned host duties flawlessly. Zero mistakes, now documented to be almost always right 98.8 percent of the time. It's an amazing feat. Never the less, ah, take it for what it is. We're very proud of it.

Is Rush Limbaugh a narcissist? He certainly exhibits the features of one and his three failed marriages suggests he is hard to live with. Narcissists are authoritarian and authoritarianism is a hallmark of the right wing. James Dean if Watergate infame recently wrote an op-ed piece in which he stated that the Goldwater conservatism of the past has morphed into simple authoritarianism. This started when Newt Gingrich became Speaker of the House. Newt was one of the most authoritarian personalties in modern US politics.

NPD is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions that cause people to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life. In particular, NPD is characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, in the same category as histrionic, antisocial and borderline personality disorders.

Narcissism is related to Obsessive–Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) is often confused with obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD). Despite the similar names, they are two distinct disorders. People experiencing OCPD do not generally feel the need to repeatedly perform ritualistic actions—a common symptom of OCD. OCPD is sometimes associated with eating disorders.

The primary causes of OCPD are time, personal and/or social relationships, cleanliness and/or tidiness, and money. Completion of a task or problem by an OCPD individual can be affected when excessive time is used in getting such to be considered "right". Personal and social relationships are often under serious strain because the OCPD individual insists on being in charge and the only one who knows what is "right."

There are few moral 'gray' areas for a person with fully developed OCPD; actions and beliefs are either completely right, or absolutely wrong with the OCPD individual always 'in the right'. As might be expected, interpersonal relationships are difficult because of the excessive demands placed on friends, romantic partners and children. OCPD people are authoritarian 'my way or the highway' types.

If you were raised by an NPD or OCPD parent, then you've been taught that the parent is always right and you're the one who's wrong. This is also true of the OCPD parent. OCPD is more subtle because people who have it are usually only apparent at home, but not at work.

It's impossible to overemphasize the narcissists' lack of empathy. They always fill in their knowledge gaps with bits of behavior, ideas, tastes, and opinions borrowed from someone else whom they regard as an authority. For instance, and narcissists' opinions may actually come from someone you know, too, but to you is obviously not an authority on the matter. Rush Limbaugh seems to be a favorite of many with NPD and OCPD.

People with NPD or OCPD often try to take one example and generalize to everyone else. In their words they look at one tree and suggest the entire forest is that way. Rush Limbaugh does this on his radio show all of the time. For example a caller was complaining about Canadian medical care.

The Canadian wanted to go to a facility that was 30 minutes away for cancer treatment, but the government made him travel to one that was 3.5 hours away. This is a problem, but in the bigger scheme of things, Canadian health care is rated 30^th in the world by the World Health Organization and the US is 37^th. Limbaugh rarely talks about the 'big picture' forest on his show.

Because their inner life of a narcissist is restricted, it doesn't contain images of how to live a full life -- these things are not important to them, they expect others to look after day-to-day chores, they resent wasting their specialness on common things. They don't put their heart into their work, but they will complain how many hours they put into their job. They borrow their opinions and preferences and tastes from whomever strikes them as authoritative at the moment.

Narcissists have problems with cause and effect. They do not seem not to make logical memory associations as others do.

Narcissists get worse as they get older, with dramatic regression after the deaths of their parents and other personal authority figures who have exerted some control over the narcissists' bad behavior. Chronic depression may be obvious by their forties. Depressed narcissists blame the world, but not themselves for their personal disappointments.

One young man told his family in his early teens that he was going to live on the beach, be a millionaire, have two cars and boat by the time he was 35. He was doing below average is school and did not seem to have any extraordinary abilities. He even made a bet for $50 with a relative that he would achieve all of these goals. At age 37 he was driving a 10 year old car, had never owned a home and was still living with his parents.

When his relative said “game over' and asked for the $50, the man insisted he would still be able to achieve his 'dream' and the game was still on. Many people had called this man a 'dreamer' when he was younger because he had so many delusions about himself. Of course, this 'dreamer is a Rush ditto head.

Narcissists never outgrow their demands for dedicated attention to their needs. Adult narcissists can be as demanding of your time and energy as babies but without the gratification of their growing or learning anything from what they suck from you. In a household the narcissists thinks the home revolves around them.

So, yes, it's possible to get along with narcissists, but it's probably not worth bothering with. If family members are narcissists, you have my deep sympathy. If people you work with are narcissists, you will be wise to keep an eye on them because they are logically flawed. They feel that the rules don't apply to them, and they will always cut corners and take short cuts wherever they think they can get away with it.

Controversy constantly swirls around narcissist as it has around Sarah Palin. Why do you think Palin has US$500,000 in legal bills to defend against ethics complaints? The reason is simple: narcissists and people with OCPD are very manipulative and they tend to overreact when someone challenges their viewpoint.

One protester showed up at a Sarah Palin event with a placard for the Alaskan Independence Party that her husband had been a member of. Palin wanted to make a big issue about it, but Steve Schmidt, the McCain campaign manger, advised her to ignore it.

Palin kept insisting on a response. Of course, she was having trouble seeing the forest through the trees because the election was about John McCain, not Sarah Palin. Palin functioned in the McCain campaign as if she were also running for president. She constantly became a thorn in the side of John McCain by making contradictory statements. For example, the McCain camp abandoned Michigan late in the campaign, but Palin indicated she wanted to continue to campaign in Michigan. Huh!

Narcissists are threatened and enraged by trivial disagreements, mistakes, and misunderstandings. If you continue to live or work with narcissists, expect to have to clean up after them, expect to lose friends over them, expect big trouble sooner or later. Sarah Palin bombed in the presidential election and John McCain didn't even mention her as a presidential contender on the Leno show for 2012.

Narcissism and OCPD are personality disorders and narcissists' personalities are disordered: they don't make sense! They are not concerned with logic and they are impulsive. Don't try to understand everything they do. Does anyone really understand why Sarah Palin impulsively resigned as Governor of Alaska?

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/DS00652

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive-Compulsive_Personality_Disorder

http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megalomania

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