LUCIFER'S TOYCHEST DECEMBER 2009:
As always, Satan's shopping list of Christmas gifts are guaranteed to make any Christian parent call their state Senator after slapping their rebellious child across the face for ruining Christmas!
We'd like to prevent that from happening. At least the slapping part. The following Christmas toys are banned from purchase. Be warned:
If one of these items is found in your home or on your person, then you'll have to find yourself another place to worship, for you are no longer welcome at Landover Baptist Church.
Click on the images or name of any toy below to be taken to the Liberal owned, Amazon.com where you can read their own deceitful descriptions and purchase or burn any of these sinful products!
1. Little Dora (All Dora Products Banned Until Further Notice!):
The Little Dora character was cooked up a few years ago by liberals as a tool "to force conservative children into questioning their racial identity and Christian heritage." This year, Dora looks more "Oriental." A modification obviously made so that children who play with her, will be more accepting of President Obama's loose policies toward Japan and China. Children who are exposed to Little Dora, will grow up to be the next generation of liberal adults who embrace a world currency and help destroy America by toppling the United States' status as the world's most powerful nation. If you love your child, and you love America, please keep them away from Little Dora and any of her related products, including the Fisher Price Dora Kitchen set (an underhanded attempt to target the conservative female child demographic).
2. Toy Story 3 Talking Buddies:
Our Christian mole in Hollywood informs us that Buzz Lightyear and Woody will be planning a gay toy marriage in their next film. As part of Hollywood's marketing campaign, and in a liberal effort to desensitize children to the homosexual agenda, Disney is releasing the "Talking Buddy" set this Christmas. "Let's take this friendship to another level," says Woody (that name is already enough to make a Christian parent flinch). Even more disturbing is that each character comes with a removable shirt. Do you want to see your conservative child playing with topless toys under the Christmas Tree? Look to landoverebaptist.org for updates as we petition Congress to put an R rating on Toy Story 3 before it is released next year.*
3. Scientific Explorer's Mind Blowing
Science Kit:
When will scientists learn that a Holy Bible and a box of chicken bones provides children with more knowledge and fun than any silly science kit they can ever come up with? This so-called, "kit," will have your child performing dangerous experiments that will make them question the existence of our omniscient God. The Mind Blowing Science Kit, at least does what it says it does - it blows a child's mind wide open! An open mind is the Devil's Playground - susceptible to demonic spirits! Atheist liberals sell these kits to promote "rational thought." Well, as any True Christian™ will tell you, there is NOTHING rational about Evolution and science. Children who are exposed to this kit will one day die and go to Hell, where they will have all the time in the world to use "rational thought" to figure out why they are being burned alive in a lake of fire while being sodomized by demons for all eternity!
4. Radio Flyer Little Red Roadster:
The beloved, innocent toy of our Christian youth has been retrofitted and redesigned by sodomites to resemble a drooping, semi-aroused red penis! Is there no shame left in this world? How a Godly little red wagon turned into a symbol for Gay rights, and passes unnoticed to even the most conservative family is beyond the Christian imagination! Who wants to see their Baptist child giggling in glee as they ride a mockery of Americana down a public sidewalk in open support of the Homosexual Agenda? While conservatives sleep and do nothing, gays are actively taking over everything we hold dear! And that includes the Radio Flyer Association™! So, even if you want to purchase an old-fashioned flyer that doesn't look like an engorged penis, your money will most certainly go to helping place homosexual teachers in your local elementary school!
5. Barack Obama: Son of Promise,
Child of Hope Book:
We're all for Black people feeling better about themselves, and what better way to raise a colored child to grow up to be a waiter who doesn't spit in your food, or a sanitation worker who doesn't spill your garbage on the curb. This book could have accomplished that, but since it was written by an angry, liberal racist, it is "Pro Obama." Which means that any child who reads it will grow up to become a person who spits on American values and spills the hard earned cash of decent, God-fearing Americans onto the gravel and dirt driveways of the lazy and incompetent! It has NO place in a Christian home!
*Please Note:
When you click on a the image or text link to any of these toys, you will be taken directly to an Amazon.com page that gives you "the liberal view" of each toy.
If you chose to purchase one of the toys to burn, or anything else on Amazon.com, the Landover Baptist Church will receive partial proceeds from your purchase and will place those funds into the Campaign to Place an "R" Rating on Toy Story 3
Thank you for your service and contribution to this amazing cause, in God's precious and Holy Name.
See the rest of the 2009 banned toys at http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2009/december/bannedtoys2009.html
Concerned Christian Parents, Please Visit the Links Below
To Learn More About Banned Toys: Lucifer's Toy Chest 2008
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