Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Rand Paul may be inelgible to be president

Rightardia recently discovered that Rand Paul is not fully human. He is part hobbit and part human, a rare hybrid that Hobbits call halflings.

Lat month Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) mocked members of the conservative grassroots movement as “Tea-Party hobbits.”

Senator Rand Paul (R-Ky) responded: 

I’d rather be a hobbit than a troll.

This exactly what a hobbit would say because hobbits and trolls are mortal enemies.

Rightardia used the Hobbit name generator to reveal Rand Paul's real name. It is

Marroc “Panky“ Sandydowns

Paul's hobbit friends referred to him as Panky because he was always involved on some sort of hanky panky in the Middle Earth.

In fact, one of his biggest pranks was his religious “Aqua Buddha“ movement. He even kidnapped a female hobbit and tried to convert her to Aqua Buddhism.

Can Rand Paul run for president since he was not even born in country like Kenya? Since he was born in the Middle Earth, legal scholars say he will not have “birthright citizenship” under the 14th amendment and public law (8 U.S.C. § 1401). 

Rand Paul needs to produce his birth certificate before his candidacy goes any further.

Paul even got a Middle Earth endorsement form Smaug, Smaug is the evil dragon from The Hobbit. 
Smaug appeared on The Colbert Report, displaying a broad range of conservative views. The Dragon stated America should go back to the gold standard, a view he shares with Rand Paul.
Smaug also an advocate of Florida’s controversial stand-your-ground law, citing his experience with the thief, Bilbo Baggins.

How would you feel is someone wearing a hoodie broke into your cave?

The Dragon noted Rand Pails short stature (5'8“) is tall for a hobbit. But his pubescent face and pubic head of hair are classic hobbit good looks.


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