Friday, September 17, 2010
Following are quotables from “Real Time with Bill Maher” for Friday, September 17th, 2010. “Real Time with Bill Maher” airs Fridays at 10:00PM ET (10:00PM PT, tape delayed) on HBO, with additional replays throughout the week on HBO and HBO 2.
She does not have a mean bone in her body. Or any other bone in her body. She would campaign against sex outside of marriage, against condoms, against pornography, against masturbation…all my hobbies. But mostly masturbation. She hates that. Which is ironic since she owes her nomination to a bunch of jack offs.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue about Christine O’Donnell
Her campaign signs show a picture of Obama and they say “Spank This Monkey Instead,” because the Tea Party is 100% not racist.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue about Christine O’Donnell
Her detractors use this; say she’s homeless, jobless and can’t pay her taxes and her supporters say ‘finally, someone who represents the average American.’
- Bill Maher on Christine O’Donnell
I don’t understand America’s attitudes for Muslims these days. They knock down a building in New York, we get mad. They want to put up a building in New York, we get mad. Make up your minds!
- Bill Maher
There is nothing that cools right-wing heads more than injecting Michael Moore into a controversy.
- Bill Maher regarding Michael Moore’s blog entry about the mosque controversy
Why don’t we have words for people like Gingrich and Palin because you know, they’re essentially our Mullahs, our Taliban. We don’t even refer to them as but we should start calling them Cleric Gingrich and Mullah Taliban Palin. See how that fits….their level of bigotry is so un-American.
- Michael Moore
How about that McDonald’s two blocks away from Ground Zero? That’s killed more people than the nineteen high jackers.
- Michael Moore about the mosque controversy
I do miss George Bush. Compared to these tea baggers and the people who are pandering to them, he looks like a professor.
- Bill Maher
I think it is sad that the guy who was a big ideas guy in the party is crawling his way to the bottom. We should be debating ideas and not birth certificates and the notion that someone comes from Africa.
- Mark McKinnon on Newt Gingrich
The Democratic Party is re-electing people like Charlie Rangel. We’ve got Democratic congressmen who think that Guam is overpopulated and going to tip over, so all the crazies aren’t in the Tea Party. They’re all crazy up there right now.
- Mark McKinnon
Isn’t Obama’s big problem that he does everything half ass? Maybe it’s because he’s only half black. If he was fully black, he would be a better president. There’s a white man in him, holding him back.
- Bill Maher
New Rule: Nobody wants to see a movie about Facebook. What's the big Second Act crisis, a server going down? If this is a hit, what next? "Google: The Musical?" "Craigslist 3D - The Search For A Slightly Used Rowing Machine?" They might as well make a sitcom out of that blog where some guy just repeats shit his dad says.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: If you dragged your man to "Eat, Pray, Love" this summer, he gets to take you to a movie called, "Football, Jerk Off, Nap."
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were Michael Moore, Mark McKinnon, Martha Raddatz, Jon Hamm and Robert Reich.
She does not have a mean bone in her body. Or any other bone in her body. She would campaign against sex outside of marriage, against condoms, against pornography, against masturbation…all my hobbies. But mostly masturbation. She hates that. Which is ironic since she owes her nomination to a bunch of jack offs.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue about Christine O’Donnell
Her campaign signs show a picture of Obama and they say “Spank This Monkey Instead,” because the Tea Party is 100% not racist.
- Bill Maher in his opening monologue about Christine O’Donnell
Her detractors use this; say she’s homeless, jobless and can’t pay her taxes and her supporters say ‘finally, someone who represents the average American.’
- Bill Maher on Christine O’Donnell
I don’t understand America’s attitudes for Muslims these days. They knock down a building in New York, we get mad. They want to put up a building in New York, we get mad. Make up your minds!
- Bill Maher
There is nothing that cools right-wing heads more than injecting Michael Moore into a controversy.
- Bill Maher regarding Michael Moore’s blog entry about the mosque controversy
Why don’t we have words for people like Gingrich and Palin because you know, they’re essentially our Mullahs, our Taliban. We don’t even refer to them as but we should start calling them Cleric Gingrich and Mullah Taliban Palin. See how that fits….their level of bigotry is so un-American.
- Michael Moore
How about that McDonald’s two blocks away from Ground Zero? That’s killed more people than the nineteen high jackers.
- Michael Moore about the mosque controversy
I do miss George Bush. Compared to these tea baggers and the people who are pandering to them, he looks like a professor.
- Bill Maher
I think it is sad that the guy who was a big ideas guy in the party is crawling his way to the bottom. We should be debating ideas and not birth certificates and the notion that someone comes from Africa.
- Mark McKinnon on Newt Gingrich
The Democratic Party is re-electing people like Charlie Rangel. We’ve got Democratic congressmen who think that Guam is overpopulated and going to tip over, so all the crazies aren’t in the Tea Party. They’re all crazy up there right now.
- Mark McKinnon
Isn’t Obama’s big problem that he does everything half ass? Maybe it’s because he’s only half black. If he was fully black, he would be a better president. There’s a white man in him, holding him back.
- Bill Maher
New Rule: Nobody wants to see a movie about Facebook. What's the big Second Act crisis, a server going down? If this is a hit, what next? "Google: The Musical?" "Craigslist 3D - The Search For A Slightly Used Rowing Machine?" They might as well make a sitcom out of that blog where some guy just repeats shit his dad says.
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
New Rule: If you dragged your man to "Eat, Pray, Love" this summer, he gets to take you to a movie called, "Football, Jerk Off, Nap."
- Bill Maher in his “New Rules” segment
This week's guests were Michael Moore, Mark McKinnon, Martha Raddatz, Jon Hamm and Robert Reich.
1 comment:
Great collection of quotes. Thanks.
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