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Friday, June 12, 2009

YOU MIGHT BE A REPUBLICAN IF...

These truth are self-evident: All right wingers are someone to laugh at.

1. You’ve tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
2. You’ve ever referred to someone as “my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend.”
3. You’re a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
4. You’ve ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
5. You’ve ever uttered the phrase, “Why don’t we just bomb the sons of bitches or make them glow.”
6. You’ve ever called a secretary or waitress “Honey.”
7. You don’t think “The Simpsons” is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
8. You don’t let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of “sexual deviance.” 
9. You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit...
10. You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
11. You’ve argued that art has a “moral foundation set in Western values.”
12. You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969. 
13. You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
14. Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
15. You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America. 
16. You've ever said, "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
17. You’ve ever referred to Anita Hill as a “lying bitch” while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.
18. You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve or flying a confederate flag to honor Jefferson Davis on his birthday." 
19. You've ever called education a luxury.
20. You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle. 
21. You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductible.
22. You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
23. You're afraid of  "mainstream or liberal media.
24. You ever based an argument on the phrase, “Well, tradition dictates....”
25. You’ve ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.
26. You think all artists are gay.
27. You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
28. You’ve ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don’t even have shoes. 
29. The only person you can understand on “The View' is Elizabeth Hasselbeck  .
30. You believe McCain lost the last election by 8,000,000 votes because of ACORN.

source: Usenet--Too_Many_Tools Newsgroups: misc.survivalism,alt.rush-limbaugh,talk.politics.guns,alt.politics,alt.politics.republican Subject: YOU MIGHT BE A REPUBLICAN IF...
Date: Thu, 11 Jun 2009 19:35:30 -0700 (PDT)

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