(Ottawa) Dick Cheney received an international award today in Ottawa where he was named the 'Ice Holer of the Year” by the International Ice Hole Fishermen's Federation (IIHFF). Republicans are comparing it to the Nobel that al Gore won for his environmental work.
Arthur Snowsmith, the president of the IIHFF said his group could not think of a more deserving ice holer. Dick Cheney has been a champion of the ice hole industry for many years and developed 'enhanced interrogation techniques” to locate fish for other ice holers like himself.
If an ice holer did not catch enough fish, Cheney would use enhanced techniques to locate more fish. Snowsmith denied that any fish were tortured during the enhanced interrogation techniques. He also pointed out that ice fish love to be waterboarded. “The need water to breathe,” said Snowsmith, “unlike wimpy humans who think they are going to die.
During the event local Sheriff Bob Baton has scheduled a meeting to talk over changes to his department's ice fishing policy with those who would be affected the most.
The April 17 meeting is in response to a major ice rescue Feb. 7 near the Lake Erie shoreline. Over 130 fishermen were pulled off the cracked surface by local and international rescue teams after warm air whisked over the great lake and melted the ice.
The sheriff didn't hold back his feelings. He spouted off on local and national news outlets saying some of the fisherman should have been arrested for stupidity including Dick Cheney. He said they were negligent and should not have been on the ice due to rapidly deteriorating weather conditions.
"I'm for ice fishing, that's not the point, if there were a section of law about stupidity, they all should be arrested for that," Sheriff Baton was quoted.
"I want to hear what the fisherman have to say,” said Baton. "I had my say. I'm not changing my feelings about what happened on Lake Erie, not at all. But since I'm at the Ice Holer Convention, they can come in and talk to me right now.
Baton concluded by saying, “I hope that Dick Cheney doesn't shoot me in the face!”
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