Friday, July 15, 2016

What is the fuss about in the Republican National Convention?

Donald Trump wants his Evangelical police (EP) to monitor the convention. The EP's are armed with metal rulers and will slap the wrists of anyone involved in hanky panky on the floor of the convention.

Trump has already had a major sex scandal when it was revealed that former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski and press secretary Hope Hicks were secret lovers. Trump staffer Sam Nunberg got fired over the story and also because he revealed Trump had a secret and illegal campaign finance account.. Trump is suing Nunberg for $10 million for violating a non-disclosure agreement.

The EPs are also passing out Hanzoff anti-mastubatory gum. This is a real product you can buy at Ina addition, the Trump has ordered that saltpeter be added to any sandwiches or finger food served at the the event. The Donald wants to keep the convention pure in accordance with conservative Evangelical standards,

Fappy the anti-masturbation porpoise will also be at the event. He was recently bonded out of of jail for public indecency when he was caught polishing his own porpoise. Fappy is very popular with conservative and Evangelical children.

Property Christians will also be prominently featured in the event. Will Joel Osteen, the Chistian Prosperity king be there? Hard to say, but but hidden in the schedule is Rev. Mark Burns, an enigmatic and sometimes gaffe-prone  African American pastor from South Carolina. Burns who has been a big Trump supporter. He may even plug the capitalistic Trump Institution.

Whether you vote Republican not, this convention should be an eye opener. 

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