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Sunday, December 5, 2010

Landover Baptist Church: Lucifer's Toy Chest

BANNED CHRISTMAS TOYS 2010!
The most dangerous toys ever created by Satan are listed below with specific and explicit details on our findings!  Each unchristian item is also linked to show you even more horrifying details and ignorant secular reports on Amazon.com!  

Click Here to have a closer look at this item on Amazon.comOur Baptist researchers found out the hard way that the Kinect Sensor makes use of body movements and gyrations in a particularly unfamiliar and disturbing activity called, "dancing." After experimenting with the device for nearly two days, three Baptist Pastors were hospitalized with broken hips, two 14 year old girls were accidentally impregnated, and one 10-year old boy had his testicles permanently damaged. . .


Click Here to have a closer look at this item on Amazon.com"Pillow Pets" are sexually suggestive, soft, and enticingly tender creatures. They are purposefully marketed to rural conservative families - mostly to our farming communities, many of whom will drive 100-miles to a Wal-Mart just to run their fingers through silky hair of one of these seductive beasts! "Pillow Pets" are strategically displayed with their inviting hind sides open wide and their alluring snouts smiling like the innocent goats and sheep you and your children tend to each day on the farm. Toymakers must know that Christian boys and girls always use pillows to commit the sin of self-abuse (masturbation), as they are forbidden to touch themselves. And, as any Baptist farmer will tell you, masturbation leads to bestiality! . . .

BANNED: BRATZ SLUT DOLLS
Click Here to have a closer look at this item on Amazon.comDo you want to purchase a doll that teaches your daughter how to dress like a slut? Do you want your daughter to take off a little boy's clothes and see what he looks like naked? Do you want your children to talk like a Negro while they are playing with their dolls? How about a doll that teaches your daughter how to get a tattoo and trade panties with her friends? . . .


See the rest of this very funny article at http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2010/december/luciferstoychest2010.html

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