But the money was good so our writers are convinced that they can pimp and shill for US corporations as well as any conservative.
Take a look at some of our right wing themes.
Big Oil
1. Cuban communists sabotaged the Deepwater Horizon oil platform so a Chinese communist oil company could take all of the oil in the gulf of for themselves.
We are certain wingnuts will embrace this argument without much trouble using Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin as our favorite conservative talking dogs. A communist conspiracy theory always works well with the conservative base. Fox News will love this PR campaign.
2. Big oil justs mines and drills for energy. Its our customers who burn our product and cause global warming.
3. The dinosaurs never complained about global warming and they thrived for nearly 135 million years.
4. When the US goes into the next ice age, Americans will be grateful for global warming.
Immigration
1. Don't panic if you are Hispanic. Republicans have used the cheap Latin agricultural labor for years. Just don't try to vote or have babies while you are in the US.
2. A real American plays, football, not soccer. Throw away you soccer balls and vuvuzelas and play a real American sport instead of that socialist sport, soccer.
government
1. Small government and big business work best. America was more manly when Republicans owned it and we didn't have to deal with pesky government regulations or labor unions.
2. Fascism is misunderstood. The American version is a lot kindler and gentler than the European version. Americans were happy with corporate towns and stores and liked it when out bosses told them how to vote in elections. It was a simpler time that was better for everyone.
Military-industrial complex
1. War is good for the economy and creates jobs. It's a lot more fun to bomb enemy cities and create crispy critters than to pay unemployment benefits and issue food stamps.
2. War is good for the Republican soul and good for business.
Religion
If you go to church every week, you will be a more obedient workers and less concerned about you pay and benefits and more concerned with salvation. This works for corporate America.
Education
1. The pointy headed Democrats have ruined public education that needs to get back to the basics.
2. Education's purpose is to produce workers for corporate America. Our kid's heads don't need to be filled up with ideas about, art, music, history and civics that causes confusion makes them question corporate and government authority.
There you have it. Rightardia will send you a detailed proposal with an Excel spreadsheet that will show you how Rightardia can represent your corporation or right wing think tank.
Face up to it. Progressives have a lot more imagination than those pasty faced corporate drones who work for you.
If we can shill and whore for big oil, we can shill and whore for anyone. Shilling is the American corporate way!
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