Monday, October 5, 2009

'Landover Baptist University for the Saved' Opens Halloween Reclamation Hell Hospital

Baptist and other fundamentalist churches are setting up Hell Hospitals all over America to warn their brethren and other evangelicals about the dangers of ObamaCare. Rightardia monitors evangleical web sites like Landover Baptist Church and is warning our readers about this nefarious scheme. .

Landover Baptist University for the Saved Opens Halloween Hell Hospital!

Click to Enlarge - Hell House Circular Ad - Fits Most Church Bulletins!

Freehold, Iowa - Students at Landover Baptist University for the Saved will be presenting this year's Hell House in the Old Rocky Creek Sanatorium for Presumptuous Coloreds, an abandoned mental hospital off route 43, 20 miles east of Des Moines.

Landover Baptist acquired the property 87 years ago and has been using it to store Pastor's enormous collection of antique luxury cars. "All of that has been moved out to make room for Hell Hospital," said Pastor Deacon Fred. "Unsaved folks from miles around will be lining up throughout October to pay the $75 admission fee for Healthscare. I believe it is the most frightening Hell House we've ever done."

Hell Hospital will give visitors a blood-curdling, authentic peek inside one of Obama's government-run hospitals. Visitors will line up and be seated inside Hell Hospital's filthy waiting room, which is the size of nearly two football fields. "This is REAL TERROR," says Pastor.

"Visitors will wait for hours -- sometimes days! -- just like they'll wait in one of Obama's hospitals just to get a used Band-Aid. Lead paint will be peeling off the walls, cathode ray televisions will be spooling hours of

PBS specials on the Obama family's clothing and eating habits, all while hundreds of Baptist University students painted to look like Mexicans wearing little pink ears and snouts mingle with the crowd, dancing around sombreros and coughing into the faces of white children, passing on swine flu and Chlamydia," Pastor continued. "It is a real rip-roaring production!"

After a wait that will seem longer than sitting around for the Second Coming, a big fat Demoncrat nurse will finally call your ticket number over the crackling loud speaker and shove you into one of Hell Hospital's four rooms, depending on what you look like.

After you visit one of the rooms described below, you will be shuffled out quickly to hear the plan of salvation and meet with one of four Republican Prayer and "Pay For Your Own Damned Surgery!" commandos to sign a letter of spiritual commitment to Christ and financial commitment to Landover Baptist Church.

The large community pool previously used to clean retards and now posing as a mandatory water abortion clinic will also double as baptismal pool.

A Peek Inside Hell House 2009: The Rooms of Obama's Hell Hospital:

Mandatory Abortion Clinic and Water Abortion Pool.