Obama to meet with Playboy of the Western World, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi of Italy

President Obama will meet with the recently reelected conservative leader of Italy, PM Berlusconi. Here is some background on this fascinating old lecher.

Noemi Letizia, the 18-year-old accused of being involved with Silvio Berlusconi’s divorce, was smiling. The press was asking her, “Who's your Daddy?”

With her parents at her side, she told The Times that she was “absolutely not” the love child of the Italian Prime Minister, whom she affectionately calls “Sugar Daddy”. In their first joint interview since the scandal broke, the parents denied any inappropriate connection to Mr Berlusconi. They refused to clarify when the PM had become a personal friend.

Then Veronica Lario, Mr Berlusconi’s wife, announced their divorce with the words, “I cannot be with a man who spends time with under-age women,” Noemi was believed to be the young woman that caused the breakup.

Mr Belusconi had attended the teenager’s 18th birthday party last weekend, presenting her with a gold and diamond necklace. The visit infuriated his wife, who cited her husband’s wandering eye for younger women as a reason for divorce.

The Vatican urged the prime minister to act with the sobriety more becoming of a world leader and threatened excommunication. A cardinal stated the PM is not Henry VIII of England. We will not grant him an annulment.

Noemi and her parents attempted to scotch the speculation. Speaking to The Times at their apartment in south of Naples, the family dismissed that she could be the love child of the Prime Minister. Noemi's mother said, “We don't need any DNA tests either. That might muddy the water."

“No. That’s my dad, over there, she said, pointing to a man by her side, Benedetto Letizia. Oh, and that's my mother hiding over there in the corner.“

The mysterious circumstances of Mr Letizia’s acquaintance with Mr Berlusconi and long, unaccounted history in local politics where no one appears to remember him. The Italian press have called this unknown council worker 'Signor Nessuno' or 'Mr Nobody.' The press call Mrs. Letizia an old flame of the Mr. Berlusconi.

Mr Berlusconi claims he met when Mr Letizia was a driver for Bettino Craxi, the former Prime Minister. “Not so,” said Mr Craxi’s son. So, how exactly does a man like this know Mr Berlusconi.

Being evasive, Mr. Letizia said: “We have a good relationship, a relationship of the heart,” pressing a fist to his shirt, to demonstrate his intimacy with the richest man in the country. Yes, that's the ticket.”

“Berlusconi is close to the public. Otherwise where would the votes come from? And where would my family have gotten all of those those child support payments.”

But does every local voter have the privilege of a Prime Minister at their daughter’s birthday party?

Mr Letizia smiled and replied, “I don’t understand what the problem is. In your country, don't leaders interact with the common man and the wives of the common man?”

Neighbors of the family are puzzled. “I’ve been friends with him for years,” said Giorgi Bocaballa, owner of the local pizzeria, “but until last week, I didn't know he was connected with Berlusconi.

“When he told me the day after, that Berlusconi had come to the party, I said, “What are you talking about? I couldn’t believe it. Then he showed me the pictures in all the papers, and there it was.”

“She is a pretty girl but one pretty girl out of many, said another neighbor.” And how many pretty girls get that kind of access to Berlusconi? You don’t just buzz the Berlusconi button on the intercom, and he responds. It doesn’t exactly work like that.”

As this sordid saga continues, Rightardia wonders how it will end. Will Veronica Lario divorce Silvio. Will Silvio admit that Noemi is his love child?” Stay tuned: this is the stuff of Soap Operas.