The Onion - America's Finest News Source: Is this heresy or hearsay?

Scholars say Tammi of Nazareth may have been a major religious figure nearly two millennia before the bra was invented.

New Evidence Suggests God Also Had Incredibly Busty Daughter | The Onion - America's Finest News Source:

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The Onion is looking good

We loved the Onion until Brooke Alvarez (Suzanne Sena) showed up on IFC's Onion News Network.

The political parody videos disappeared as did many of the previous cast members. We loved Today Now!: It was a parody of morning lifestyle and news programs such as NBC's Today show and ABC's Good Morning America. It was Hosted by Jim Haggerty, former New York City TV anchor Brad Holbrook, and the beautiful Tracy Gill.

After Sena's arrival, Today Now and other Onion features seemed to disappear. Rightardia stopped checking and using the Onion videos months ago.

Sena played an an egotistical Ted Knight character (Mary Tyler Moore) but the Onion was never about the talent, it was about the people and news that was being satirized.

The good news is the Onion has new actors and Sena's role in the news videos appears to have greatly diminished. We will continue to check the web site for usable material.

The Onion appears to be on the comeback trail.


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Onion videos have tanked

Rigthtardia used to find a couple of videos a week frim the Onion that were great.

However, since the content was revised after they hired Brooke Alavez (Suzanne Sena), the videos have declined.

The Sport's Zone was a bust and we haven't seen Today Now for quite a while which was our favorite show.

Today Now!: was a parody of morning lifestyle and news programs such as NBC's Today show and ABC's Good Morning America. 

Tracy Toth of Today Now!

It was Hosted by Jim Haggerty (in actuality, former New York City TV anchor Brad Holbrook) and Tracy Gill (portrayed by Tracy Toth), The deadpan humor and satire were great,

The Onion needs to get back to basics or hire some new writers, or get the old writers back. The videos are no longer funny! The Onion needs to do more political satire. 


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ONN: American Dream Declared Dead As Final Believer Gives Up

American Dream Declared Dead As Final Believer Gives Up

The last vestige of the American Dream slipped away as a Pennington, IL resident quietly laid aside his hope of owning a bar & grill.

Rightardia agrees.  Florida senator Marco Rubio started up the American dream crap and now the Democratic party has adopted it. 

Even the Tea Party is sceptical about the American Dream described in high school text books.


Nearly two-thirds of working Americans (65%) believe the American Dream is a somewhat or very realistic goal for their family. 

However, this optimism is being tested by great economic distress and anxiety. 

A majority of americans  (52%) believe it is at least somewhat likely that someone in their family will lose their health insurance in the next year—and even more (58%) think it is likely that someone in their family will lose their job. 

Additionally, two-thirds (65%) believe that with the way things are going now, it will be harder for the next generation to achieve the American Dream.

source: http://www.changetowin.org/features/the-american-dream-survey.html

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ONN: Small Town Throws Pride Parade For Only Gay Resident

Small Town Throws Pride Parade For Only Gay Resident

WONN5 reports that hundreds turned out to support Pennington's single gay resident Paul Webster.

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The Onion's newest hottie: Brooke Alvarez

There are some interesting pictures of the latest Onion newscaster on the Internet. Rightardia is aware that Brooke may have some tattoos.

Guess where the two cherry tattoos are?

Brooke has also written a book and it clear to Rightardia that she deserves the Noble prize!

As her Onion biography  explains:

As the host of FactZone, Brooke Alvarez is one of the world's most recognizable news figures. 

Growing up in Russia, Brooke dreamed of being famous and powerful. 

She emigrated to U.S., erased all trace of her Russian accent within three weeks, and began her systematic ascent to the top of the news industry. 

The details of this rapid climb through the various lesser networks to end up at the Onion News Network was the subject of "The Devil Incarnate" a book refuted by Brooke as "the pathetic scrawlings of a bitter and jealous acne-scarred half-reporter."

The half-reporter is rumoured to be Gretchen Carlson. 

BTW. Brooke Alvarez is a stage name. Her real name is  Suzanne Sena.

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ONN: Anti-Gay Congressman Caught In Affair With Horse

Breaking: Anti-Gay Congressman Caught In Affair With Horse

Republican Congressman Ronald North, who said gay marriages would lead to man-horse unions, is caught in a relationship with a mare.  Full coverage tonight at 10/9c on IFC. 

Related

• Blog: Pamphlet Shows North's Strong Anti-Gay Marriage Position
• Blog: Congressman North Cavorts With Horse

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ONN: Morbid Curiosity Leading Many Voters To Support Palin

Morbid Curiosity Leading Many Voters To Support Palin

A recent polls shows 62% of Americans say they don't want to vote for Palin, but kinda have to just have to see what would happen.

The Onion News Network premieres on IFC on Friday at 10pm. this "News without Mercy."

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ONN: Kim Jong Il Ends Nuclear Program in tense negotiations

Kim Jong Il Ends Nuclear Program For Lead In Next 'Batman'


In tense negotiations, the U.S. State Department agreed to grant the North Korean leader the role of Gotham's "Dark Knight Detective."  The Onion News Network is coming to IFC on January 21 at 10pm.

We expect this movie to be a block buster because Kim Jong Il is a great actor. 

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Fox Nation runs Onion satire as news story

By David Edwards Friday, November 26th, 2010 -- 1:32 pm

Fox News' opinion website Fox Nation and many of their readers don't seem to know satire when they see it.

The Fox News sister site re-posted a spoof from the satirical website, The Onion, Friday about President Barack Obama sending a 75,000-word e-mail to the the entire nation. At no point does Fox Nation note that the story is a satire.

The Onion story joked that Obama had

reached the end of [his] rope" and sent out the "rambling" stream of consciousness e-mail that addressed everything from the war in Afghanistan to his live-in mother-in-law.


The story goes on to say that the fake Obama e-mail was 27 megabytes and 127 printed pages. This sounds more like a book than an email.

This is the not the first time Fox News jumped on a fake story. Gretchen Carson ran a story that the Taiwanese animation company, NMA, had created. 

An NMA animation showed the Taliban training monkeys to fight the US troops in Afghanistan. The story was a complete fabrication as was the Onion spoof on the long Obama email.

See the complete story at http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/11/fox-nation-readers-confuse-onion-article-real-news/

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ONN: Coming To IFC January 21

Onion News Network - Coming To IFC January 21

The Onion News Network, the most popular 24-hour cable news network in America, is coming to IFC on Friday January 21, 2011 at 10pm.

This is news without mercy. 

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The Montana Merkle: It must be a Republican bird

Bird Hunted To Near Extinction Due To Infuriating Call

This bird has nearly been nearly hunted to extinction because it is so annoying.

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ONN: Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister

Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister

Rightardia has always contented that the right wing has the majority of American sheeple.

The Greek fraternity and sorority system on college campuses is a source of homogenized right wing Americans who are indoctrinated with conservative ideology and group think.

The Onion video is a great satire on the college stereotypes.

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ONN: Majority of Americans get exercise while drunk

Now we all know why America is number three in the world in obesity.  Americans need to get drunk more often so they exercise more.


Study: Americans Get Majority Of Exercise While Drunk

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ONN: Time Advanced is aimed at adults

TIME Announces New Version Of Magazine Aimed At Adults

Time Advanced is a new version of Time Magazine that is aimed at adults.

About one in every four Americans (25%) is a high school dropout. About half (45%) have gone to college for some period of time, but fewer than one in six (15%) have a college degree

About 20% of the US population are functionally illiterate; for some subsets of our population, that rises to 40%. 

The average reading level of American parents of young children is 7th or 8th grade.

source: http://www.informatics-review.com/FAQ/reading.html

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ONN: Republican demands horses wear dresses to hide their foul penises

Congress, 1924: Rep. Demands Horses Wear Dresses To Hide Foul Penises

Only an evangelical congressman would propose such a bill.  Could this be another Log Cabin Republican with 'penis envy.'

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President Obama caught lip synching speech at University of Michigan

This is even worse than the president's Teleprompter use. Republicans will go after the president liked crazed piranhas once the story breaks.


Obama Caught Lip-Syncing Speech ONN:

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ONN: US Army mascot 'Liberty' killed by IED in Iraq

Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq Subscribe to the Rightardia feed: feeds.feedburner.com/blogspot/IGiu

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First Openly Gay Horse to compete this Sunday

First Openly Gay Racehorse To Compete Sunday

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New Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare 3 game tells us how it really is

This might be one of the most effective anti-war statements ever made.  The Major, our international and military affairs editor, got a huge laugh from The Onion video.


Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Video Game Offers Engine Repair, Awaiting Orders

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