Landover Baptist Church: Mitt Romney's Crazy Religious Beliefs

What Does Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney believe?

He believes that Jesus Christ is Satan's brother. He believes that God lives near a planet called "Kolob." He believes in baptizing dead people. He believes that Jesus is married to a goddess wife. He believes that The Garden of Eden was in Missouri. He believes that it was impossible for blacks to go to Heaven before 1978.  He believes that Jesus has children from his wife or wives. He believes that he is going to become a god. He believes he will own his own personal planet after he dies. He believes the real Christian God is not eternal but rather that He was once a man on some other planet besides Earth! He believes he needs to wear magical underwear created by Mormons and he is never to take it off unless he is bathing. He believes it is a sin to drink anything containing caffeine. And that even includes True American™ drinks like Coca-Cola! He believes children between the ages of 18-21 should wear name badges, ride bicycles and always smile. He believes there are three Mormon heavens  He believes that Mormons are descended from one of the lost tribes of Israel He knows secret handshakes and passwords that will get him into heaven

See Mitt Romney's Crazy Religious Beliefs, Landover Baptist Church

cartoon: http://everettfzdhx.dns04.com/Funny-Mormon-Memes

source: http://www.exmormon.org/
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Politico-religious wars

The GOP made Obama's religion an issue starting with Reverend Wright.

Democrats are returning the favor to Mormon bishop Mitt Romney.

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Romney unleashes his friends from Kolob

These creatures are from the planet Kolob.


Kolob is a star or planet described in Mormon scripture. A reference to Kolob is found in the Book of Abraham, a work published by Joseph Smith,  the founder of the Latter Day Saint movement. 


According to Smith's work, Kolob is the heavenly body nearest to the throne of God.


When you have been a Mormon bishop, you have special friends like these.

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kolob

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Why Mormons are heretics

The Mormon religion has a set of peculiar beliefs and dogma that set it apart form other Christian creeds.

First it has three testaments: the old, the new and the Book of Moroni.

As the story goes, the prophet Joseph Smith discovered gold plates under a mountain in Nyack, NY. He translated the gold pates with seer stones that told the story of two of the lost tribes of Israel that traveled to North America.. One of the tribes eventually destroyed the other and the descendants of the surviving tribe are the American Indians. The gold plates have been lost to history.

DNA evidence suggests there is no genetic link between the American Indians and any  ancient Semitic  tribes.

Mormons are philo-Semitic because they believe they are also descended from the lost tribes of Joseph.

The book of Moroni reads like an L. Ron Hubbard science fiction novel. It gets even better.

Mormons know where God lives. God lives on the planet Kolob.

Mormons also teach their children a secret handshake and chant that will get them into heaven when they die. The Mormons may want to provide this information to Darth Cheney. It's the only way that man will ever get upstairs.

Mormons wear magic underwear that is embroidered with old Masonic symbols. They believe this magic underwear protects them from Satan. Mormons even keep the underwear close by and touch it to protect themselves when they shower.

I imagine Mormon kids are really scared after the awful movie, the Possession, was released. Mormon underwear must be selling like hotcakes.

Mormons have subscribed to celestial marriage in the past which allows one man to have multiple sister wives. This issue led to the premature death of prophet Joseph Smith by a lynch mob when the church elders discovered he was practicing polygamy with their daughters.

The Old Mormon church still practices plural marriage and in Salt Lake City. One study indicated more than 40,000 couples have such an celestial arrangement.

Some people describe the Latter Day Saints (LDS) or Mormon religion as a cult. With its third book, it would certainly be better described as a heresy.

Mitt Romney is heavily involved with the Mormon church and he has served as a Mormon bishop for many years.  Although most evangelical creeds are non-accepting of Mormons, the LDS subscribe to evangelical religious values.

See more at http://www.christian-restoration.com/cults/Mormonism/temple.htm


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