Eric Veith: Humorous proofs for the existence of God

By Erich Vieth on September 05th, 2006

I know that many of you are philosophically running on empty. You’ve already dabbled with all of the traditional so-called proofs for the existence of God. You crave more proofs and it’s got you down.

Well, cheer up! I have the site for you!

Exchristian.net has 300 (did someone say 300?) “Over Three Hundred Proofs of God’s Existence”! So get ready to dig in. Here are some of my favorites:

COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) Everything must have a cause
(2) The universe must have a cause.
(3) Therefore, the universe has a cause.
(4) Therefore, God exists. This is essentially the Intelligent Design argument.

MORAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) Person X, a well-known atheist, was morally inferior to the rest of us.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became reborn.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no God then we’re all going to die.
(2) Therefore, God exists. Of course, if you don't beleive in God, you will Go to Hell anyway when you die.

ARGUMENT FROM FALLIBILITY
(1) Human reasoning is inherently flawed.
(2) Therefore, there is no reasonable way to challenge a proposition.
(3) I propose that God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM POSSIBLE WORLDS
(1) If things had been different, then things would be different.
(2) That would be bad.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
(1) God loves you.
(2) How could you be so heartless to not believe in him?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM BIBLICAL HISTORY
(1) Many modern historians think agree Jesus was a real person. He was the Son of God.
(2) Therefore, God exists. This argument is specious because many of the early Christians did not believe that Jesus was the son of God. if fact the Greek Orthodox Church considers that belief to be heresy.

The first Bible that was written was in Greek and the King James version is not true to it. Orthodox Christians believe Jesus became divine because of his good deeds.

source: http://dangerousintersection.org/2006/09/05/humorous-proofs-for-the-existence-of-god/

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