Since the RNC landed on Republican's Island when the SS Minnow beached there, there have been many conflicts between Michael Steele, the eccentric millionaire, and Professor New Gingrich, the old authoritarian Speaker of the House.
Skipper Mitt has tried to keep the peace and Bachagain, Michele Bachmann, has been trying to convert all of the survivors to her evangelical faith. Sarah Palin, the aspiring actress, has been catching a lot of “mystery meat” for the RNC and just caught a Right Whale which should feed everyone for weeks. Carry Prejean, the Beauty Contestant has lost her crown and is looking for it. The islanders decide they need a president to stop all of the bickering between Newt and Michael.
After several hour of bickering, Newt, Skipper Mitt, and Micheal and Michele announce they want to be president of the island. Sarah Palin says she would rather hunt for game and Carie Prejean says she just wants her crown back and needs to look for it. “Once I get back home, I may run for governor,” said Carrie. Fox News was really impressed with me and so was the National Organization of Marriage.
Michele Steele made the first pitch for the presidency of the island.
Michael Steele: I am running for president because I am the leader of the Republican Party and have been a former Lieutenan
Newt Gingrich: Now, Rush Limbaugh is the real leader of the GOP. You even apologized to him, you wimp. I was the Speaker of the House and wrote the Contract with America. It is not important that the GOP never honored the contract, I got lots of Republicans elected.
Micheal Steele: Yes, but you were forced to resign because you bitched about sitting in back or Air Force One. You retaliated by cutting off funds to the federal government and lost your speakership over it. You were also married and getting BJs form your girlfriend while Bill Clinton was being impeached. You were one of the most authoritarian speakers ever and disbanded the committee system based on seniority. This island doesn't need to ruled by an iron fist.
Skipper Mitt: Now boys, clam down. I know one of you is far right and the other is liberal. I fit right in the middle. I don't try to fool voters or ever run around on my wife. And don't forget the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City. I turned it around.
Professor Newt: Yes, and the Massachusetts legislature reversed your vetoes more times than any other governor. The Boston Globe described you as an ineffective governor and which was was supported by public polls that gave your governorship low marks after you left office. You have to turn the Olympics around because businessmen in Salt Lake city bribed members of the International Olympic Committee.
While all of this was happening, Bachagain was quietly talking to all of the islanders. She indicated to Michale Steele she would vote for him in the first round provided he voted for her in the fourth. Then she told Professor Newt she would vote for him the second if he voted for her in the fourth. She told Skipper Mitt she would vote for him in the third, if he would vote for her in the forth round if there was one.
Bachagain also told Carrie Prejean and Sarah Palin that they were evangelical sisters and that they should always vote for her. I will establish a theocracy on the Island with required Bible reading and only allow 'opposite' marriage on this island. She told Mitt that she recognized the Mormon cult was evangelical. She also talked to the Professor and said she couldn't understand why he had become a tool of the Vatican, but at least he was a Christian. She didn't talk to Michael Steele because he was a liberal.
Because all of the candidates were Republican, they didn't believe in majority rule and insisted on a 60 per cent super majority. This had worked out well for the GOP in the Senate for years.
In the first round no one got even forty per cent of the vote because everyone voted for themselves except Bachagain. The same results occurred in the second and third rounds with no one reaching the 60 per cent super majority, although Skipper Mitt got 50 per cent of the vote in the third. He furiously lobbied to pick up the one more vote he needed. But then he remembered he promised to vote for Bachagain in the forth.
Bachagain won in the fourth round with 100 per cent of the vote and Michael Steele almost fainted.
Bachagain: As your new president, Republican's Island is now a theocracy. First of all, there will be no 'he and he' or 'she and she' marriages on Republican Island. Carrie Prejean beamed when Bachagain said that.
Anybody who wants to get married should contact Carry Prejean, who is your priestess.
Bachagain: Everybody get out your Bible : Let's start with Genesis:
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth .
In the Episode 6 Carrie Prejean does something unthinkable to Skipper Mitt's magick Morhpin' Mormon underwear.
Get 30 days of free traffic analysis simply by going to Web-Stat: http:
www.web-stat.com/?id=2955
Contact Rightardia: eelder1@gmail.com
